Back to the sources of wife swapping.

In the fifties the media referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s called “swinging,” but despite of its name this alternative lifestyle seems to be escalating in popularity among majority, middle-aged married couples in the US. The popular media are paying increasing attention to the trend, frequently putting a optimistic spin on the effects which swinging has upon relationships. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are organized swing clubs in about all states as well as Switzerland, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are rewarding enterprises which provide all levels of social activities for swingers including vacation plans, special holiday sites for swingers, and annual gatherings and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers travel agency, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in December of 1997.
What exactly is swinging? Unlike “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and broadmindedness of betrayal in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of several people at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual action, treated much like any other social activity, that can be practiced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or dedication to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the principal goal. Swinging is typically done in the company of one’s spouse and requires the approval of both to the experience. Although swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are regulations restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its apologetics claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the secrecy and dishonesty inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual diversity, the couple can explore their fantasies mutually without dishonesty or shame. By removing the necessity for cheating from the relationship, a new stage of reliance and openness about all of one’s feelings is supposedly achieved without the harsh baggage of envy.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and academic interest because the attempt to combine sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is basically “abnormal” from the western model of romantic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are reciprocally reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle in fact strengthens or weakens marital bonds, but in an era where 36% of husbands and 29% of wives, sometimes so-called milfs admit to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 59%, and where family instability and parental neglect of kids has become a major national worry, any effort to redefine “love” and strengthen the marital relationship is worthy of our interest. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, extend family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going segment of the population reported in earlier studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the general public. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the happiness of their marriages and life satisfaction in general as higher than the non-swinging population.

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